Last night I spent an evening with the girls on the sixth floor. I always feel so social whenever I hang out with them; not that they are particularly popular or outgoing, but their relative shyness makes me feel social by comparison.
BBW's roommate's friends had brought a handle of rum and we mixed it with Diet Coke, alternating with some hard lemonade. I also had a beer that showed up from somewhere. Fucktard and BBW got shitfaced, I almost felt embarrassed for them. But I felt a lot closer to the other two girls because of it, the three of us being oh-so-much more experienced with drinking. Shadenfreude makes the world go 'round!
We went outside and everyone except for Westchester bummed cigarettes off of me. (Westchester's mom died of cancer, and while she's not sensitive to us smoking, she doesn't partake.) Having so many people steal my Camels was a little obnoxious; this was the pack that T bought me when he thought I was pissed off at him. He also fixed the lighter so that I could use it more easily; my thumb is too small for me to operate most lighters very well.
So five cigarettes down, I chainsmoked four more. I'm still new enough to smoking that it feels novel. I get that feeling of clarity and enthusiasm that I love, and smoking when you're drinking is one of the best experiences, only topped by smoking while sitting outside at night. Which is the best when you're stressed and have a ton to do. When I'm high I love to look at the ash burn, but lately I like the look of it even when I'm sober.
We wandered around campus a little, stopping by a concert and the cafe. I ran into T there. He was with some guys and alternately cuddled with me and blew me off. His way of gaining guy-rep. I don't mind, we both like to use each other to get some rep in our separate gender social groups. In so many ways, we're very alike.
T called me later that night when we were in Westchester's room, watching an Amanda Bynes movie and hanging out, drinking hard lemonade. He showed up and cuddled, jokingly trying to feel me up and hold my hand. He does that because he likes to feel close to people, craves physical contact. Never said out loud, but understood. I like it in him. A propensity to hug and cuddle makes for a good friend.
Someone asked me whether I had ever hooked up with T, and I said "No." Then considered. "Not really." Said because I like people to think I get more action than I do, but in retrospect, it's kinda close to the truth.
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